It’s seems wrong to ring in the new year without properly bidding adieu to the old one. And, in fact, towards the end of my long wait to be matched with my child when I was truly doubting whether adoption was the right path for my family, I wouldn’t even usher in a new day without saying goodbye to the old one.
Every night, after sliding in under my soft flannel sheets, I would scour my memories of the day and choose one thing for which I was grateful. Often, I chose that for which I was most grateful: the companionship of my amazing, supportive husband, the love of my life. Sometimes, it was for steady employment in a jittery economy. Or for something small, like the rose-pink glow the sunset casts into my living room every evening as the sun slips below the horizon.
I would then hold that thought in my mind, feeling its warmth as if I were cradling a mug of chamomile tea, and let the day drift away. Sometimes, I’d even scribble the thought on a scrap of paper and tuck it under my pillow like a Guatemalan worry doll, but without the worry. Or the doll.
So, as I slide into 2012, I shall scour my memories of waning 2011 and pluck out a few bright, shimmering moments to clutch: some big, some small, some serious, some silly. My gratitude list.
Ten is a good number. My ever-patient husband; my precious child; my nervous but gentle cat; my job; friends who appeared out of the woodwork to offer their support when I needed it; delivery pizza; my mother; internet shopping; automatic coffee makers; and TIVO.
Actually, since it’s two thousand and eleven, I will expand the list by one and add to the top of it: my child’s birthmother.
What’s on your gratitude list?
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